FYI-
My husband John's sister, Olita Walsh (who lives outside of Sydney,AU)has 3 older brothers just like I do. John has said many times that Doris is going just like his mom did. The following is from Olita about their mom. John got a real kick out of it. The original didn't post to the blog (I think you must create an accountt for it to show up on http://dorismount.blogspot.com/ so I copied it from my email. This is what she wrote;
Hi Wendy
I just posted a comment on your Mom's website. I'm not sure that it was accepted so following is what I said. It is a very emotionally wearing time and my heart is with you. If you want to talk about anything, I'm here.
"Yes, it does remind me of Mum. However, Mum had reached that point in her life where she did want to be looked after. After Dad died, she raised the 3 boys and me on her own with virtually no help. Later in life, for many years she worked in the stock room of a large retail store loading shelves and "pulling" stock from 7.30am to 3.30pm and as she had lied about her age (she said she was 10 years younger than she was) she did not retire until she was 75.
So, when she moved into a hostel situation, she was ready to be cared for. HOWEVER, she was always very strong headed, strong willed and everything had to be done HER way, and even though she wanted to be looked after, she retained an independence.
I had to move her from the hostel (where she was happy, but could only stay there a set length of time) to another retirement home where she was encouraged to do things for herself (she did NOT like this). When she decided she had had enough, she, too, stopped eating. The only thing I could get her to eat were strawberries and unless they were really, really top quality, she would spit them out and refuse to eat.
It is very difficult for the family who are the carers. I felt that I couldn't seem to hit the right note to give Mum the will to live and I didn't want to let her go. Yet we must do just that. My Mum was tired and it was time for her to think of herself instead of others.
Take heart, Wendy, you are doing a great job."
Lots of love
Olita
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1 comment:
Hi Wendy,
I am enjoying the comments about Doris out here in Cairo. This is a good thing you have done.
I remember my Mom (Bessie, as Doris called her) telling us about the tramps and Gypsies too. Also about using linen napkins to snap butterballs up onto the ceiling! There was a story too she told about a turkey landing on the floor, and Grandma or someone saying, "I'll go get the other one" and then marching right back in with the first one dusted off! Another story Bessie used to tell was about being admonished not to mention the unusually long nose of a guest who was about to arrive for dinner. She got so nervous about this, that when he came through the door she said "Good evening Mr. Nose!"
Last year while visiting Bessie at Heath Village, she suddenly asked me "Where's mother?" I told her "Your mother died 35 years ago" (which the Heath Village care-givers told me I should not have said). But Bessie was astonished to hear this and didn't seem to mind at all. Sometimes she talks about having to pack her things and get ready to go home, and one time she said that apparently she was in prison and didn't know what she had done wrong! But the fact is, the people there are wonderful, as they seem to be at Doris's place, and almost 100 percent of the time Bessie seems to be very content. One day as we sat in the dining room, one of the residents walked in and Bessie called out hello to her. She said to me, "She's such a nice lady."
It would be great if the two sisters could get together, but I wonder whether they would know each other! They might not recognize each other, but I am sure they would remember.
Just a word about Joan Curtain: I read the tributes to Michael on the fallen heroes memorial website and could see that he was a wonderful son. Just as we will not forget Joan's kindness to Doris, we will honor his memory and service to our country.
Regards to everyone, Peter Kurz
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